Had a major flashback over some lettuce and late-90s music in a Subway today, from triggers I didn't know I had until they were right there. But I'm so thankful to have almost 2 years of @sacetalks under my belt (I did my exit appointment today!), and also a datemate like @deviantart_circa2011 who knows to remind me to USE the skills I've learned in therapy! Today that looked like putting in my earphones and doing a grounding exercise. 💪
I used to be bowled over for weeks (if not months) by a single flashback, but this week I've had no less than 2 a day, and simply by being reminded of my skills I've been able to keep working hard to practice them so I've been able to remain mostly functional!! Imagine that! 💜 .
tldr Today was rough, the last few years have been rough, and my life has been rough. But I've preserved!! and I'm honestly super proud of myself!
Are you a fan of #enamelpins#enamelpin#lapelpins#lapelpin#pins Would you like to help donate to a cause that we are seeing affect people more and more daiky? #mentalhealthawareness#mentalhealth GenX has decided to make Schtick the face of us - those or us who suffer daily. #ocd#adhd#depression#anxiety#ptsd#bipolar#bipolardepression along with the countless other forms of Mental Health issues. He is 1”x1” and for $11.99, $2 will be set aside to make a donation to the mentalhealtherica awareness platform. Every time we reach $100, we will send in another donation. Let’s all lend a helping hand.
New designs, LE #limited edition, and various sized pins are all in preproduction. Link in IG Bio.
MENTalk: have created a community with likeminded men who have in some way decided to open up and speak about there issues. There is no judgement and together we can break stigmas down one by one. > https://www.facebook.com/groups/MENTalkUK/
Happy Friday!! Here’s another mindfulness strategy for you✨ it’s a good one for bringing you back down to earth, ready to think logically 😌
1 05 minutes ago
BIG spontaneous challenge + school anxiety •
today i had school from 9:30-5 NONESTOP! i went into this day not knowing what to expect... my ed was so happy as i literally didn’t have any time to eat. i brought snacks because i am now allowed to eat at school, but didn’t know if i would manage. it’s hard when i have to decide to eat randomly. •
i don’t know what came into me, but i just randomly ran to the cafeteria between 2 of my classes and bought a chocolatine... it was around 3pm and i had been thinking about it all day and i was just so done. i still can’t believe i actually found the courage to BUY food for myself without anyone forcing me. yes, i feel guilty but there’s nothing i can do about it anymore. •
anxiety around school is already over the roof and it’s day 2 only 🤦🏽♀️. i am now in cegep (i know nobody knows what it is as we only have it in Quebec) which is 2 years of preparation for university. i have to have insanely good grades to get accepted in the program i want.. but i also have to work, dance, and volunteer. i don’t know how/ if ill do it.
tomorrow after school, im seeing the social worker. this is my last appointment with her if i didn’t gain weight, TMI but im really constipated and i think i gained soo. after that, im going to the restaurant to celebrate my friend’s birthday... another challenge!! i want to cry after today’s food. i am eating too much. i can’t. everyone eats like half. :( •
i had the chocolatine. a frozen meal, drumstick, tomatoes, grapes, watermelon, ritz, cereal, and cookies.
Sometimes I see the world for how fucked up it really is
I tell myself I'll be the one to make a change in it
I could die tonight, not make it to the sunrise
Then I couldn't heal the pain in it
I'm gettin' high to forget about the lows though
This drawing is somewhat of personal tbh. I want to go aways from home, not because I hate my family or something, I actually really love my parents and my sister.. I just can't seem to stay mentally heathy while here. We all know how parents are and mine are no different, but in my actual mental state it's.. idek, hard to not stress over the minimum stupid things. I'm doing big steps managing to stay happy and positive, I totally stopped cutting or at least I'm trying. I've got a nice night school in which I have really high grades and I'm looking for a job while trying various thing to save some money (like patreon, ko-fi and stuff, also I'm prob gonna open an etsy shop where I sell charms and stuff like that with my girlfriend) and nothing seems to work. I keep getting slowly better at things and with things like anxiety and that's just beautiful to my eyes. But apparently my dad doesn't see all this. He only sees me as a waste of money and wants me to get a job asap as he won't need to pay me anything anymore if I get one. He has always something to criticize about me. I usually don't care about people talking of me or laughing for something like what I wear or my weight or hair and stuff but keep in mind that I come from a past as a victim of bullying where the main thing was me being ugly and fat. Now it's the past and I don't care anymore bout that but I still am somewhat of traumatized. I'm really paranoid because of what happened then and I always try to be the kindest ever to anyone as I don't want anyone to feel hurt in any way and here I am feeling bad at the most stupid word that to me could be like a knife. For example as written on the drawing, my dad always criticize what I wear and my style in general with small stupid jokes. He always does when I buy a new pair of shoes and as I like platform shoes like buffalo (but I can't obv afford that shit) I buy really look alike shoes that he doesn't like and he doesn't get that I should be the one to like them if I have to wear them. He doesn't get that he hurts me for something so stupid.. For me what I wear and the style is really important as I like to express with everything that I can use to
3 015 minutes ago
Letting go: of a thought, a what if, a person, an event, a choice, a regret… I get it. I understand the over consumption of thoughts, feelings and beliefs behind your thoughts and worries.
It’s so hard when someone says “just let it go”.. Do not beat yourself up if you can’t just “let it go”. We need to be softer on ourselves and change our mindset! We tend to over analyze everything that we do because it makes us feel that we have control of a situation.
When we overthink every part of something, yes it makes our anxiety worse, but it also is a obsessive safety net that we believe helps our mindset.
I encourage you to write down things that scare you, you regret, you hold on to that you know you need to release. After writing them down pick up that piece of paper tear it up and throw it away. Do not force yourself to “just let it go”, that will only frustrate you and make you focus on it more. Rather, believe it and release it....release all your regrets, all your fears, everything toxic in your life in a physical way.
It might seem dumb and “won’t work for you” but just try. The repetitive positive task will change overtime how you react to things that hold you back. If you are ready to try this task let me know you are in below!
3 515 minutes ago
I am: strong, resilient, intelligent, authentic, resourceful, determined, empathetic, and honest. But to be candid, I haven’t been feeling so great the last several months.
After about a year of feeling uninspired to write, I can feel the inspiration bubbling up again. I’ve dealt with a little bit of imposter syndrome wondering if I fit in to the “blogger” or “influencer” world. The reality is, I just want to share my truth whether I fit in or not. .
If you watched my stories the other night, I talked about how good it felt to find a stranger that I could relate too. That probably sounds crazy, but when you’ve been indoctrinated by a cult it is very easy to think that the problems are all in your head. Cults program people this way so they won’t leave because it is so hard. . .
Knowing that there could be one person out there that could benefit from my story makes it all worth my while. I will be opening a lot more about my experiences with extreme fundamentalist religion, anxiety and depression, and other things as I feel called to share. .
I would love to hear what you want to know. If what I share prompts a question or some sort of feels, please send me message so we can connect. There is power in community. .
Something to think about today. Sometimes people walk into your day in a bad mood, or with a negative attitude. Please remember that you can only control how you feel, react and think. Anything else is not in your hands and is a reflection of them. Remember to stay true to yourself and be kind to both yourself and others. Take care xx
Reminder that therapy isn’t very helpful if you are only talking about the things that feel easy to talk about. Therapy sessions can sometimes end up being spent processing through smaller stressors that come up throughout the week, which can be beneficial at times, but not if it’s being used as a way to avoid addressing the deeper issues.
Whatever it is that you are avoiding talking about— you need to talk about it. Even if it feels awkward or uncomfortable. Even if it brings up feelings of shame, guilt, pain, or embarrassment. Let your therapist help you through it.
17 3127 hours ago
Guess the song🖤 . .
Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home.
7 1957 hours ago
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