“I feel defeated. I keep failing. No matter how hard I try, all the efforts I put in just go in vain. I feel so down. I rarely feel good about myself. And when I do, it never lasts. Everything doesn’t last. Seems like my life is by default sad and lonely. I do feel happy sometimes but it’s all temporary. At the end of each day, I am alone. And I feel out of place. I feel like no one is like me.” It was 30 Jun 2019 when i wrote this down. I’m glad to say I’m no longer in the same headspace. Only a few of my closest friends knew about this - I didn’t even tell my family because I didn’t want them to worry - but barely a month ago I decided to seek professional help. I signed up for counselling. Through it, I learned a lot about myself and the demons I have been dealing with that’s within me. At first, I was too skeptical. It was like admitting defeat. And I don’t like losing. But I realised where I was at the time was a dangerous place. And I knew I needed a way out. I am still in the process and I still cannot fully say that I am now ok and that I am happy. But at least I feel stronger now and more optimistic. And soon enough, I would be able to say, “I feel great and happy” and not be scared.