I constantly remind myself to stop dragging the horse. Especially when I know that he won’t drink the water. I have a great heart and desire to bring people along, but this beautiful habit fails me because I always seem to pick the wrong horse. #drag#type#complex#ikesds#design#thoughts
We are constantly asking God to send us a sign or a message but we’re too busy focusing on irrelevant situations/things and we end up missing His messages when He speaks to us.
Too often we pray, ask, and beg God to send us signs. We want to hear from Him so bad. But are we waiting? Are we listening? Are we being still? Quiet? You can’t hear what you aren’t listening for.
Think about being in the DMV. It’s loud. It’s crowded. There’s A LOT going on. So many lines. Voices. Numbers. DISTRACTIONS. You begin to people watch or lose focus. You start listening in on other conversations. You start finding things to pass the time. You start thinking about all the other errands you have to run today. You become impatient and antsy. You eventually tune out and get very distracted. And then, boom you miss hearing your number being called.
• twice, I have loved women who chose to keep me a secret. who hid my letters. deleted my texts. lied, when someone asked what we’d ever been.
I don’t know what to say about this except that both heartbreaks shattered something deeper. that they buried us in regret. that it was a betrayal of love.
I will tell you that it destroyed me both times and (even now) if someone asked me if I’d ever loved them, I could never say no. I do not regret the people I have loved. they are stories I will tell for the rest of my life. I hope I will do so fondly. but I fought to build myself from the ground up in the wake of them. I learned invaluable lessons in what love is, and what it isn’t. I put myself back together with forgiveness. with the idea that these loves were never right for me. that when I reach for someone new, I want big love. bold love. love that couldn’t keep me a secret if it fucking tried.
I will tell you that I will not settle for anything less.