This is how I hope I am showing up for each and every person I encounter who is experiencing grief. This is how I hope each person will show up for me when I am experiencing grief.⠀
Sadly, there are so many reasons this happens less often than we hope. We live in a culture that abhors pain and sorrow and worships constant happiness. Therefore, we aren't taught how to hold space and honor the pain. We are led to believe that everything has a "fix", and if we haven't found it yet, we just aren't trying hard enough. Therefore pain is a problem that needs to be fixed. Grief, and the resulting pain, is a normal response to the loss of someone or some ability that you have weaved into the narrative of your identity, into your heart, into your life.⠀
So, I'm committing to you to show up and hold space for your pain, without asking you to be anything other than what you are in this moment. Perhaps you can do that for someone you love?
The end of one season, the beginning of another. There are only a few tomatoes left on my vines - and I am starting to crave apples and the foods of fall. But there is more to this statement for me than produce. The bowl the apples are in had been sold last year; and yet it now has a lovely story of how it found its way back into my home, along with two other things. When we let go of something in our lives, and it is really meant to be with us, I now believe it can find its way back to us. And as we love and adore it; our love and adoration is returned. I believe this statement holds true for every part of our lives, and all that is in it. Take time today, just a moment, to really appreciate what surrounds you... And Happy Sunday.
Thank you Susan and Wendy
Day 318 - a lazy, slightly poorly Sunday afternoon. We made it out for a walk this morning but post lunch it’s a lazy afternoon and we’ve finally found a programme we can both enjoy about polar bears 🥳. Weekends can be hard when you feel everyone else is doing happy family things but I am finding more that being lonely often clashes with the need to recharge batteries for a week ahead. I think I’m better at the recharging these days and spending quality time with baby R because I’m realising that even though I might feel lonely, I don’t necessarily constantly need company. The loneliness is something else. It’s missing companionship. Acknowledging that is sad and hard but also helpful because it’s not possible for me to fill that gap constantly with stuff and when I realise that I can stop and look after myself differently in the here and now 🧡 #widow#youngwidow#widowedandyoung#grief#griefjourney#griefandloss#polarbears#natureprogramme#sundaymusings#lazyafternoon#bereavement#beingmumanddad
Today was a light leg day. After 10 miles yesterday, my body was like naw. Like most humans I'm having problems with my diet. I love cakes, cookies and bread so much. Everyone is losing weight doing keto, fasting, chasing their cheating BD or starving. I just want lose weight by eating cakes and cookies. I know weight loss isn't going to happen unless I change something, but I don't want to. I love my two croissants every morning with my green tea, banana nut bread and caramel macchiato. If I want be naughty, I get myself a venti caramel almond milk frappuccino with no whip and a shot of espresso. If I eat lunch it's a chicken salad or chicken & veggies. For dinner I cook like your jiggly armed mee-maw. I still look okay for working out every day. Decisions, decisions, decisions!
11:56 2.37 miles on the bike
Seated leg curls 75lbs, 105lbs, 115lbs, 135lbs & 150lbs
Leg extensions 95lbs, 110lbs, 155lbs & 170lbs
Leg press 95lbs, 140lbs, 155lbs, 185lbs & 200lbs
Hip abduction 115lbs, 145lbs, 160lbs & 190lbs
Glutes 70lbs, 85lbs, 100lbs & 115lbs #fitmom#hysterectomy#hysterectomyrecovery #fibroids#workout#exercise#fitspiration#fitness#widowhood#widow#workoutroutine#earlymenopause#surgicalmenopause#blackwomendoworkout#blackwomenfitness#blackwomenworkouttoo#veteranfitness#veteran
Today was day 1 of phase 2. Cardio meltdown! It’s also the day before my 39th (YIKES) birthday. The 2nd birthday I’m “celebrating” without Sal. I needed to sweat today. I needed to release this blah I’m feeling & working out always helps! Now I can enjoy my last day as a 38 year old. 🤦🏻♀️
Does trying to "stay strong" and appear okay wear you down? ⠀
Frustration, anxiety, stress, upset, and depression: Together they can lead to an emotional eruption, or what some people call a “meltdown.” Sometimes you feel so emotionally overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings that you can no longer control them or hide them from others. Lashing out or crying are often signs.⠀
I used to think I was a strong person, I used to tell myself to "stay strong". Really that just made me fall faster and harder. Holding everything in so I had the appearance of being "okay" just made it harder. I never knew what actual strength was until I was at the bottom trying to get up. I remember crying over pickles one day... sad but true. I wrote about it in my recent blog, along with some tips to help avoid these meltdowns.⠀
Some of these triggers and meltdowns are unavoidable, but for me I knew I was having them because I was trying to push through the pain instead of acknowledging it was there. I couldn't fight my way to the other side of it because there is no other side. ⠀
There is pain with grief and learning to live with the pain of grief. There is no "after" the pain of grief.⠀
The last day I took photos of you.... 💔
And although it’s sad there were no more because life got too busy, I cherish the thousands we have.
No longer physically here but always present, always here, always loved. X
For some of us, we can’t help but cry in times of grief. For me, tears can ‘appear’ randomly, when I’m at home watching Saturday night TV, or they can stream like there’s no tomorrow. For me, tears are necessary. I need to allow myself to release, to find a way of flowing out of the tension that I’m in.
But sometimes, crying seems impossible. I’m empty. I can’t feel and I’m disconnected. But sometimes I need that space, to just be, to grieve, to feel nothing.
Grief is a weird thing. It takes you by surprise with its changes and it’s habits. And for so many of us, each of our grieving processes will be different. That’s because not one of us will have the same experience when it comes to grief.
And you know, if you’re in a place of crying, let those tears be. Let them move you to where you need to flow. And it’s also ok if you don't feel like crying. You might simply need time and space to grieve the death in your own way. It's important to make sure that you're dealing with your feelings appropriately. 💡 If you're persistently isolating yourself or having trouble handling your usual daily activities — or you feel like crying but can't — seek the help of a grief counselor or other mental health provider. DM me for support.
The grieving process requires time. However, unresolved grief can lead to depression and other mental health problems. If you're concerned about reaching a healthy resolution to your grief, seek the help you deserve.
Full Name - Widow.
Alias - Widow.
Nicknames - Demon, Black Widow, Black Lily
Pronouns - she/her
Nationality - Japan
Occupation - The Charming Queen
Gender - Female.
Skin Tone - White/Pale.
Height - 184cm.
Weight - 67kg.
Hair Colour - Black.
Eye Colour - Red.
Age - 24-28.
Birthdate - Unknown.
Status - Alive.
Positive - Smart, Attention seeker, Reliable.
Negative - naive, evil, doesn't care much about anyone.
( #shadowfight2#widow#spider#roleplay#roleplayaccount#biography )
0 59 hours ago
Any loss is heartbreaking and I just recently lost my husband of 48 years . A friend sent this to me and it touched me deeply as it spoke volumes to me .
This was /is me! So loved and I was blessed because I know not many have experienced this depth of love ❤️ The next part of my journey will be a difficult one. Being a Widow was not in our plan 😭💔, but With the Grace of God and wonderful family and friends I know I’ll manage but not looking forward to this next chapter of my life without my husband .💔
Any advice from those that have been through this would be appreciated.
Not all super hero’s wear capes. ❤️❤️❤️ This incredible woman, a widow and mother of 10 ( 5 lots of twins!) is soon to be gifted a water tank through Tandum.
Can you imagine how she felt when we told her?
Nothing is more rewarding than providing sustainable long term solutions to families in need to thrive in their community. #singlemother#widow#mother#family#watertanksponsorship#tank#water
Day 75: .
I started today with a 10 mile run. I listened to a bunch of episodes of @curiouswithjvn .
I should have taken my dad up on the offer of a ride when he drove past me. He was on his way to save the day. He hooked up my sink and faucet. Which was SURPRISE! Not something the counter installation guys do. .
The county fair beckoned with the promise of a PJ Masks Meet and Greet. I really just want to hide. Like all the time. But I also don’t want my kids to miss out because of my sorrows. .
So we loaded up and went. My sister in law and nephew joined us.
We got to the appointed spot and waited. And waited. And waited. Along with many others. Then somebody casually mentioned that the event had been cancelled. .
I felt like I had been lured out into public under false pretenses. But we got to pet bunnies, chickens, zebras, tortoises, and goats. #4 stole the show on the pony ride, he was having such fun. We were able to forget the tragedy of the missed PJ Masks. .
There was much anticipation for the Krusty Krabs party tonight. It was a tricky one for me. #2 ate a well balanced meal and enjoyed earning millions of dollars in the treasure hunt. I only lost #4 once. .
It was weird for me. I have swimming friends. But Jason had Swimming Friends. He should have been laughing heartily with his friends and helping me keep track of the Subjects. .
I tried to talk myself out of feeling weird. But then I realized, I just gotta feel it. So I did. .
To end on a positive, the Subjects fell asleep in record time. #day75#summer2019#krustykrabs#gettingcuriouswithjonathanvanness#daviscountyfair#disappointment#butyayponies#andazebra#wespentamilliondollarsonfairfood thanks @joeiwill#fourfoosgroups#misadventuresinsoloresearch#anitawithoutjason#damnit#widow#firstswithouthim#ihavegoodfriends
make an edit of a character your choice
with a sad lore to an edgy/glitchy audio
as annoying as widow is to
play against, her back story
will forever be one of the saddest
things to me
6 12813 hours ago
Qu’est-ce que tu souhaites pour ta vie?
Continuer de faire semblant que tout va bien avec ton masque que tu portes?
Trouver ta vérité et créer une vie qui correspond à qui tu es vraiment?
Quel choix feras-tu?
1 716 hours ago
Johnny, best friend and lover, wonderful husband. His death has left me bruised to the bone. But it was a gift to know him. He was/is worth every tear. #widow#grief
In my church the Temple is a symbol for many things, but the main one I think about is families. I believe that families can be together forever and death is not the end! Sometimes this thought brings me comfort and other times it’s to hard to hear. I know I’ll be with Justin again, but the thought of waiting 60 years to get there is to unbearable. So I try not to think about that and I’ve been trying really hard to focus on the now. I’ll see him again, but I can’t allow myself to imagine what that reunion will be like. Not yet. I’m just so grateful he left me these two beautiful souls to occupy my mind until that day comes!
40 2,23916 August, 2019
- What’s your worst date ever?
- Mine was one of the two proms that I attended. I took someone who was a good friend of mine but spent the whole time texting other people and literally didn’t say two words to me in the car, during the day date, at the dance, or on the car ride home. It was like some weird nightmare I couldn’t wake up from and it ruined our friendship. It was sooooo bizarre and confusing.
52 16,31816 August, 2019
There were many nights the last few years I would find Kaleeya crying in her bed for her sister Jordyn. Loss from divorce is sometimes a lot harder to put into words than a loss from death. One night, after we found out Kennady was going to be a girl, Kaleeya asked some questions I know many of us have felt before. “If I love this new baby...does that mean I don’t love Jordyn? Does that mean Jordyn won’t be my sister any more? Even though I don’t get to see her...can I still love Jordyn as my sister...the twins and the boys had each other...she was my partner?” .
I meet so many people—especially parents of loss, widows, and those who didn’t chose divorce but found themselves there—who are afraid to move forward with new relationships because they think they will feel like they replaced a person they loved.
Part of the journey of moving forward is realizing that one person can not replace another...and it is not their job. Even when another person steps into similar shoes of the person you lost, the pain of that loss will at times still hurt, because that relationship was unique and will never be duplicated. A new relationship after a loss is about opening a new part of your heart and letting them bring you a different joy and a different light. There is room in our hearts to love, even when they hurt. .
So as I have watched Kaleeya live the answers to those heart felt questions, I have learned a few things myself. Yes! You can love someone you no longer get to see...and you can love after loss. There is room in your heart that can extend out to many others. Love is our gift! No one ever comes into your life to replace anyone else...but to bring their light to help yours shine. #sisters#loveafterloss#shineon