Trust me when I say things always get better. Your broken heart eventually heals and relearns what love means and how to truly love again. The emptiness you feel inside is just a temporary void that you eventually forget when your life becomes filled with laughter, passion, purpose and people who dig you out of your darkness, people who fill all the gaps that you’re waiting for one person to fill. The lonely nights you spent wiping your tears away will be replaced with morning coffees that will leave you brimming with joy because this is life, for every painful night, another morning brings the light in and gives you a chance to smile again.
Your dreadful journey to finding work that fulfills you will come to an end at one point. When you wake up with an idea or an epiphany or an opportunity and an insane amount of courage to just go for it, against all odds, against all logic; you take a small leap of faith on something that keeps getting bigger & bigger because that’s how the universe works. You trust it and you take the signs it gives you & suddenly you’re flying high among the stars. Suddenly, you’re doing exactly what you thought you’d never do, you’re shining with success when everyone was anticipating your failure.
You always have a choice to become someone who took a messy life and created something beautiful out of it, someone who took the hardships, rolled with the punches and learned how to punch back. Sometimes it takes everything going wrong for you to find what’s right and you will find it within, no one comes back the same after a few losses or major traumas but if you can collect all your scattered and broken pieces, start polishing them & sharpening their edges, they find other ways to work for you. You piece them back together and form a new shape; a stronger, more refined version of yourself.
Trust me when I say it always gets better and if you don’t feel like you have anything to offer right now or anything to give. Give yourself time to heal because once you bounce back, you will have a whole universe within you to give, and that’s how healing works, you begin with nothing and end up with everything.
35 7885 hours ago
It took me twenty-something years to realize that I had given more power to people to have a say in my life than I gave myself and it took me twenty-something years to realize that it was my choice. I was the one allowing them to invade my space and my head. I was the one allowing them to distort my thoughts with their noise.
I just firmly believe that no one knows what moves you more than you do even if they're older or more experienced or more successful, no one knows what you need more than you do and no one knows your potential more than you do but if you keep giving your power to people; they will eventually inhibit you. That’s all I ever felt when I gave them more power; inhibited.
And I realized that nothing feels worse than losing yourself or pretending to be someone you’re not because you don’t want people to walk away from you, nothing feels worse than feeling stuck in a life you didn’t choose for yourself.
But the good news is, nothing feels better than knowing that you have a choice to change it all, you’re always a single choice away from a new beginning, from a new life, from a new you. The you that has been stifled by the words of others or your culture, or your family or your peers. The you that has been trying to come out of its suffocating shell and breathe. Nothing feels better than knowing you created an amazing life for yourself and it was your choice.
Every day you have a choice to ignore one more naysayer, to take one more big risk, one more leap of faith. Every day you have a choice to choose yourself even if you disappoint a few people along the way. Every day you have a choice to grow out of everything they taught you to be and into everything you truly aspire to be.
The biggest mistakes in life come from giving your power to someone else and the biggest blessings come from taking back that power and giving it all to yourself because some people are simply not born to settle for the passenger seat, they’re born to drive.
87 1,17716 July, 2019
Dear God, please give me the strength I need to keep going when things seem hopeless. When everything seems to be going wrong. Give me the wisdom I need to see the best in dire situations and see the light in the darkest moments.
Give me the stamina I need to stand up again when I fall, to try again with hope after every failure, to love again with all my heart after every heartbreak. Please give me the clarity I need to see the truth behind certain situations and people so I can move on in peace and move forward without looking back.
Please allow me to see the miracles in the simplest things every day instead of waiting for it in some kind of grand, life-changing gesture. Allow me to recognize my purpose and my duty on this earth and pursue it fearlessly.
But more than anything, please allow me to understand my pain and my struggles. Give me the courage to release them, allow me to live free of their remnants. Give me the wisdom to turn them into strength. Give me the discernment to accept that my journey may not be the easiest but there’s something far bigger and larger than me at work.
Dear God, please equip me with the tools I need to fix what people broke in me. Teach me how to continue fighting and counting on myself when the trials and tribulations of life have worn me out.
Please give me the resilience I need in moments of defeat and conflict. Give me the zest I need to feel alive again after every demoralizing moment. Give me the enlightenment to find within me everything I’m struggling to find in others. Give me the power to be enough for myself.
Dear God, please give me the strength I need to make it on my own because all that really means is that you’re the only one who is with me. Please give me the faith I need to remember that you’re all I need when I feel all alone. Please renew my faith in you when I stop believing and renew my faith in myself when I falter and think that I can’t make it on my own. Because I know with your help, I can. I know with your help, I’ll stand taller every time life tries to bring me down.
67 1,20113 July, 2019
You first feel it in your gut, that uneasy feeling you get when you’re around someone who is not good for you, who doesn’t have the best intentions, you just feel that something is off; their words don’t sound very honest, their eyes don’t look very kind and their energy doesn’t feel light.
You then slowly realize that you can’t express yourself because you’re trying to avoid another argument or you know that no matter what you say, you’ll never be truly heard or understood. You start sounding like a broken record until you stop the record altogether.
You then gradually start losing respect for that person over their lies or their lack of commitment or their shady actions. Something stops you from giving because you feel like that’s all you ever do; give, and while that’s something to admire, sometimes giving so much to the wrong person drains you and leaves you feeling empty.
And that’s when you will understand what a good relationship should feel like. It should bring you joy most of the time, not just occasionally, it shouldn’t be a burden, it shouldn’t make you lose yourself or your dignity or your voice. A good relationship will never make you regret giving away a big chunk of your heart or your time.
There are two ways to know if you’re in the right or wrong relationship, at the end of the day do you walk away with so much less or do you walk away with so much more? Do you walk away feeling like this is the beginning or the end? Do you feel that you’re better off together or you’re better off alone?
Because even though it sounds so obvious, when you’re invested in someone, the lines are blurred and it’s astounding the lies we tell ourselves and the excuses we make for people so we can have them in our lives a little longer but at the end of the day, just like a negative mind will never bring you a positive life, the wrong person will never bring you the right kind of love. The wrong person will always keep you questioning yourself, your life and your love but the right person will be right there beside you, trying to answer all these questions with you.
55 1,0668 July, 2019
Sometimes you just have to acknowledge that you may never get the love you needed from your parents or the support you needed from your friends or the commitment you needed from a certain partner, but instead of dwelling on it, instead of filling your head with questions of ‘why me?’ and ‘what if?’ start focusing on giving everything you were deprived of to yourself.
It’s time to go back and reprogram these old beliefs that haunt you every time you dream big and tell you that you won’t make it or every time you’re presented with a wonderful opportunity and you feel like you don’t deserve it. It’s time to go back to where it all started and discover exactly what went wrong and how to fix it. It’s time to go back and give yourself the pat on the back you needed when people were kicking you down.
It’s time to revisit all the heartbreaks and the people who hurt you one last time. The one who left you for someone else. The one who always put everything else above you. The one who backed away when things got rough. It’s time to go back and be everything they couldn’t be for you. It’s time to take back all the lies they fed you about yourself and all the things they did to make you feel like you were not worthy of their love or their time. It’s time to take all the promises they broke and fulfill every single one of them. It’s time to realize that no one else has to power to make you feel loved or unloved but yourself. It’s time to put yourself first in a way that none of them knew how.
It’s time to look within for all the missing parts. It’s time to find the voice you had when you were a fearless child who once believed in changing the world. It’s time to find the courage you once had to take those big risks without waiting for someone to push you. It’s time to find the conviction you once had that you are worthy of the greatest love of all because if you can do that, you can protect yourself from ruining your life and from those trying to ruin yours. If you can do that, all the moments that are supposed to break you will only make you whole again.
64 1,4893 July, 2019
I like myself a little bit more without you
I like how I don’t have to filter my words
I like how I don’t second guess myself
because you had a way of making me feel
You had a way of comparing me to
those I don’t want to be anything like.
I like myself a little bit more without you
I don’t feel like I’m lying to myself
I don’t feel like hiding from the world
I don’t feel like a fool
I like how I don’t see myself through
your ungratified eyes anymore
I like how I don’t have to live up to
your hideous expectations
I like how I’m now free
I like how I lift myself up
without you bringing me down.
I like myself a little bit more without you
I like how I don’t need your validation
I like how I don’t have to wait for you
to make up your mind
or realize my worth
I like how I define my own worth now
without your love
without your approval
without your attention.
I like myself a little bit more without you
I like the things you didn’t like too
I like how I didn’t believe you
how your games didn’t work on me
I like how you ended up losing
even though you thought you were winning
I like myself a little bit more now
to the point where I don’t need your closure
to the point where I don’t need you.
69 1,45930 June, 2019
I’m slowly learning how to be unavailable, but not the kind of unavailable we read about; playing games, playing hard to get, ignoring people on purpose, acting super busy when I’m not. I outgrew that kind of pretentious unavailability. It’s now coming from a more enlightened place. It’s now a way to protect my soul, energy, and heart from all those who are trying to pollute it.
I’m slowly learning how to be unavailable to those who don’t value me. I’ve learned recently that love without appreciation and respect means nothing. That if those who claim to love you are not there for you when you need them, if they don’t stand up for you when you’re helpless, if they don’t show up for you during difficult times or the times when you need them to take a firm stand, then they don’t appreciate you. They like you but they’re also not afraid of losing you. They’re not afraid of disappointing you over and over again. I’m slowly learning that choosing the energy you want to be around and the people who truly make you happy is not rude or selfish; it’s necessary.
I’m slowly learning how to be unavailable to dead, vicious cycles; to people who don’t change no matter how many times you forgive them or welcome them back into your life. To those who expect you to understand and carry their baggage with them no matter how heavy it is but can’t handle yours if it’s too heavy. I’m slowly learning how to be unavailable to anything that doesn’t make me feel alive.
I’m slowly learning that to protect yourself, you have to choose your environment wisely and if that means being unavailable to certain people, certain energies and certain circumstances, then so be it because I’m slowly learning that my life will never change if I don’t change who I surround myself with and my repeated patterns will never bring different results. I’m slowly learning that being unavailable sometimes brings you closer to what’s meant for you because you’re slowly cleansing and releasing everything that’s not.
I hope you never take a wrong leap of faith because you think that if you don’t do it now, you’ll never do it. I hope you don’t let people who pretend to live their life to the fullest make you feel like yours is not fulfilling enough and that you need to jump on the bandwagon now or else you’ll miss the train.
I hope you don’t fall for the wrong person and settle because the clock is ticking and you’re held back because of your age or your culture or family pressure. I hope you realize that love is the only thing you can’t rush. Love is the only thing you can’t force.
I hope you never feel like you have to meet certain expectations just because time is slipping by and everyone around you seems to meet them. I hope you don’t try so hard to match someone’s life or dream that you forget your own. I hope you don’t let the world fool you into believing that your journey is insignificant or that you’re behind just because you’re not doing what everyone else is doing.
I hope you don’t rush into major life decisions just so you could be ahead in a race that’s not even yours. Maybe your path is slower or more difficult. Maybe it’s not as appealing as others for now but at least it’s original. At least it’s yours. You’re not trying to live someone else’s story. You’re not desperately trying to prove something to others. You’re living your own truth. You’re following your own pace. You trust in divine timing.
I hope you never have to rush big things because of time. I hope you take your time enjoying every moment, learning from every setback, finding strength and wisdom after every heartbreak and I hope you learn how to give yourself a break, how to give yourself time to bloom and time to shine.
I hope time doesn’t become your enemy. I hope you don’t waste your time trying to be on everyone else’s timing or trying to race people when you don’t know where the finish line is or where it will take you. And I hope you let time heal you because it may take a while for things to make sense but once they do, you’ll be glad you waited. You’ll be glad you embraced your journey instead of trying to change it. You’ll be glad you took your time.
88 1,93823 June, 2019
Beware of the day she gives up because that means she’s reached her boiling point. It means that she’s been holding on and trying for far too long. It means she’s tried all the tricks in the book and she’s finally realizing that this is who you are and this is who you’ll always be. It means she’s finally quitting you and winning herself back.
Beware of the day she chooses herself because that means that she won’t accommodate your games anymore. It means that you won’t get away with another mistake. It means she won’t believe another lie. Beware of the day she decides to treat you the same way you treat her because that marks the beginning of the end.
Beware of the day she takes all her love back because it simply means that she’s not scared of losing you anymore. She’s not afraid of letting you go. Because everything she’s ever done was an attempt to keep you. Everything she’s ever done was her way of trying to hold on for as long as she could because she knew that if she reached that moment; there’s no turning back. She knew that if she starts to look at the red flags she once ignored, she can’t unsee them. She knew that if she probed your relationship further she’s going to find more emptiness than depth, more lies than honesty and she’s going to figure out eventually that your love was fake.
Beware of the day she finds out that your love was fake because that day will be the day you lose her forever. That will be the day where every single attempt to win her back will fail. That will be the day that all the fighting in the world won’t bring her back. That will be the day you’ll know for sure that she ran out of chances to give you, that her heart ran out of forgiveness, ran out of love, ran out of trust and ran out of patience. That will be the day she warned you about one time and you took it lightly and it will be the day that will haunt you every time you remember all the times you let her down, all the times you didn’t treat her right almost certain that she’ll never leave. Beware of the day she leaves, because it will be the day when you least expect it to. It will happen so quickly that you won’t even have a chance to say goodbye.
72 1,73920 June, 2019
If you think about it, it’s hard for God to let anyone down because even the incidents that make us suffer have something important to teach us and even the people we loved the most leave us because they’re not right for us or they shape us into better, stronger individuals. God knows all that but we don’t because when I look back every wonderful beginning stemmed from a painful ending. Every moment of success and greatness sprung from a moment of utter weakness and desperation.
I still have days when I find it hard to believe that God will turn certain situations around just because of how long it has taken him or how stagnant everything has been but then I realized that maybe God will never change these situations, maybe he just wants me to remove myself from them. Maybe an unanswered prayer is not really an unanswered prayer but a sign for you to change directions. That maybe the answer is you removing yourself from the situation instead of asking God to change it because it’s not meant to be part of your story anymore.
Maybe this is how God works, he doesn’t follow your vision or manifests the things you want exactly the way you want them but he has his own vision, another script, another story but it has the same ending. And maybe that’s all we should really pray for, that we all get the happy ending we’ve been wishing for; it might not be in the same city we picked or the same people we imagined ourselves with but we should all hope for that happy ending and leave the details and the logistics up to him.
But as long as we keep believing that God will not let us down in the end, he will over-deliver on every promise. He will over-fulfill every wish. What if we’re being limited in our faith in him? We want him not to let us down while he is planning to amaze us instead. And what if every sad ending is not really our ending? It’s still part of the journey leading up to it. Unless it’s a happy one, God isn’t done with us yet.
93 2,49514 June, 2019
Here’s the funny thing about fate, it doesn’t like liars. It exposes them eventually. It sends their malicious karma back to them and it sends little messengers of truth to tell you or show you exactly the truth behind these lies.
So trust me when I say that after every deception, the truth will come out. The truth about that person, the truth about their lies and the truth about how much you really meant to them.
The people who deceive you are only deceiving themselves because eventually, they won’t be able to run away from the truth. They can’t run away from their demons or their flaws. They won’t be able to wear the deception mask for too long because they forget one very important factor, they forget that people eventually take their blindfolds off, their intuition kicks in, they start seeing the true colors, they sniff the lies and they finally walk away when they’ve had enough.
If someone deceived you, it says a lot about them, not you. If anything, you should be happy that you’re no longer associated with someone who can’t be real with themselves or people. You should be happy that you’re no longer in the presence of someone who can’t be genuine or vulnerable or sincere.
But every deception is a confirmation from God that this road is not for you, that these people are not for you, that those who deceive you need to heal their own issues before you can truly trust them or love them. Every deception is a confirmation from God that you’re looking for happiness in the wrong place. Deception is God’s way of redirecting you so you can keep finding your truth. Away from those who are still running away from theirs. Away from those who think they’re too clever for deceiving you and maybe even laugh about it with their friends. They gloat over breaking you but they’re only breaking themselves and that’s the saddest truth of all — how broken they really are.
Because after every deception, you dodge a bullet and it goes straight back to them. Shattering the glass they used to cut you and it wounds them instead. After every deception, you heal while they remain broken.
183 2,8768 June, 2019
If you truly want to know someone, you have to see them when they’re angry. You have to test their limits to know how far they can go, what kind of words they will use, what kind of person they are when things aren’t going their way.
Do they belittle you? Do they make you feel inferior? Do they make you feel like you’re to blame for everything that’s wrong with them? Watch who they become when they’re not trying to impress you. Watch who they become when you don’t accommodate their needs.
If you truly want to know someone, examine how they treat you after a fight. Are they okay with leaving you days or weeks without apologizing, without checking up on you, without trying to understand why you’re hurt? Are they okay with losing you over a fight? Do they suddenly take back all their promises and their vows like they didn’t mean them?
If you truly want to know someone, stand up for yourself, for your values, for your beliefs and communicate your standards because if they only like you when you’re pleasant and obedient and easygoing, then they’re not serious about you. They don’t take your feelings seriously. They don’t want you as a whole, they want the bits and pieces that suit them. The version they approve of.
If you truly want to know someone, watch the way they fight, listen to their angry words, examine how much they’re willing to hurt you when they’re upset, but more than anything, watch very closely how they fight for you, for the relationship, for the connection. Watch closely the aftermath of a fight because it will show you if they’re trying to save the relationships or destroy it and it will show you if everything they ever told you was true or if it was all a lie.
45 1,0554 June, 2019
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